ADHD parenting presents different challenges than raising kids who do not have this disorder. While you do not want to hold your child responsible for tasks beyond his means, you don’t want to enable him either or make him a victim of his disorder. In this article, you’ll learn five tips for disciplining kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

ADHD Parenting: 5 Top Discipline Tips

First, lets talk about the word “discipline.” The word comes from the Latin word “discipulus” which means “learner” or “to become a disciple of.” What this means is that you should always strive to teach values, rather than punish your child.

1. Understand what your child is capable of and what is beyond his current abilities. A basic understanding of child development can help, but also take the time to learn the areas in which your child seems to struggle most. Rather than punishing him for behaving in a way that he is currently unable to, avoid situations that you know will be a set up for inappropriate behavior. Teach him what you want him to do, rather than yelling at him for what he did wrong. This distinction is subtle, but important.

2. Parenting kids with ADHD requires firm and consistent discipline. When you take away a privilege, don’t give it back without having your child do something to earn it. Don’t let your child negotiate his way out punishments because then he will believe that everything is negotiable. If your child is chronically disrespectful or unusually defiant, then you will need to learn some new ADHD parenting skills that are also very effective with kids who have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. These are skills that your parents did not teach you. Don’t wait. Do it now. Defiant behavior does not get better on its own.

3. Focus on who your child is, rather than his performance. Children who start to feel like they are only valued for doing well on homework, tests, chores and in sports are much more likely to give up or feel bad about themselves when they fail to perform to expectations. Your child’s sense of self-worth should be tied to the fact that he is a whole human being, rather than how he does on a particular task. Although you may not always be able to give him an “attaboy,” you can give him encouragement and ask him what he learned from the experience.

4. Don’t try to be a friend, instead, take the high road and be the parent. Being a parent is tough. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions, set the limits, take away privileges or insist that your child do something that you know is in his best interests. Parents who shirk these responsibilities because they want their kids to like them, usually end up with teens who neither like nor respect them because they failed to do the tough work of being a parent.

5. Know when to say when. Some things just aren’t worth fighting over. Sometimes, it is better to let it go, especially if your child has had an unusually tough day and could just be acting out due to frustration or overwhelm. That said, there are no excuses for abusive behavior. Do not let the label of “ADHD child” be an excuse for mean-spirited behavior.

ADHD parenting is a challenge, but you are up to it. In addition to following the tips in this article, make sure to take some time out for yourself to unwind and rejuvenate every day, so you’ll be able to face the challenges that will inevitably come tomorrow.

Spare the rod and spoil the child. We’ve all heard this saying, and people often misuse it when they try to defend their disciplinary methods, but contrary to what you may have been led to believe, it does not mean to use force on children. So what should you do to instill discipline and self control in your children?

First to address “spare the rod.” The rod in question isn’t even from the Christian bible, but was written about much later (the 1800′s actually) and yes, that saying does reflect Biblical teachings, but was misinterpreted. The “rod” was used by shepherds to guide their flock and that should be what is done: Guidance.

Guidance means having set rules and consequences for children and teens. The other old saying, “not as long as you live under this roof” is very valid and hopefully the guidance given prior to the exodus will provide them with standards to live by. Rules and consequences, not rules and punishments. There is a difference.

Setting up known consequences for bad behavior should be the standard in any household, and the real ‘secret’ is to enforce the consequences and not be wishy washy about that enforcement. Changing the rules of the game in the middle of the game is simply confusing to everyone involved.

Of course all behavior cannot be covered in general rules of the house, so there has to be some general knowledge of “and other circumstances that may have not been specifically covered.” Consequences can be pretty standard and severity of consequences needs to fit the circumstance. As Tony Beretta said, “don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.” A simple four tier consequence system seems to generally work well.

Grounding, grounding without ‘screens’, grounding without screens or communication, and you are grounded to your room and can only twiddle your thumbs for entertainment. We have found that the threat of ‘no screens’ (meaning computer, TV, video) is taken pretty seriously since this generation seems regularly glued to screens.

It’s impossible to cover discipline in one short article, but hopefully this gives you a basis for what you want to do. Physical punishment generally sends the message that it’s OK to hit if you have a reason. Firm, fair and consistent parents are the ones who get respect from their offspring.

If there is one aspect of parenting that can really be challenging for anyone who is seriously into building a healthy and productive relationship with their kids, it has got to be the task of making them do their homework and assignments. Building a good relationship with your children is becoming more and more complicated as you try to manage and attend to a growing number of commitments and concerns and spend lesser time with them.

A productive and meaningful relationship is not really anchored on the amount of time you spend with your kids but on the quality of the experience that they have during those “brief” moments that you spend with them. With the proper approach, you can even make those “study sessions” that you have with your children a more exciting experience for them.

Here are some great suggestions and ideas which you might seriously consider if you want to have a more productive and meaningful relationship with your children:

1. Make sure that your kid participates in the decision making. Allow them to decide on the topic that they have to tackle first as well as their preferred place and time for the study session. This means that if your kid wants to study math today, then make sure that you start your study session working on numbers. Kids will also have their own preferred time and place to study. Give them this leverage as imposing on them can be counterproductive.

2. Add variety to the daily routine of your children. You can alternate their study sessions with an outdoor activity which they particularly enjoy. This balanced daily routine can help you sustain their energy and interest in their homework or assignments. Make sure to manage your time properly so that you are able to join them in their outdoor activities.

3. Adopt an effective reward system in order to instill in them the positive aspects of learning. You can develop this positive mindset so long as you are consistent without it being perceived as a “bribe” by your kids.

4. Explore the possibility of giving exercises and simulated tests first. Once your kid is able to learn the concepts, do away with the busywork and cut down on the monotony of the study session.

5. Inject fun and interesting activities in your study sessions. Avoid those boring reading sessions and try to add activities that are participative in nature. You can use alternative teaching aids such as video, Internet as well as action and board games.

6. Do not go into arguments with your kids. It is essential that you develop a positive relationship with your children while guiding them to establish healthy learning habits. Be a good listener and give your kids some leeway in making their own choices. Remember that your role is to guide them as they try to develop their own learning habits.

7. If your child is averse to writing then you may start out by being their dedicated scribe. You may also have them play with their nimble hands by using your PC desktop in your writing sessions. You have to understand that reading and writing activities are done in school because these are basic components of the curriculum. However, you have opportunity to tap other learning tools and approaches at home in order to help them understand their lessons from different perspectives.

8. Consult your kids when deciding the best home for your family. Perhaps, you may allow them to make their best pick when it comes to the study room and play room. In this way, you are making sure that there is a part of your home that your children can consider their own and where they can enjoy studying their lessons.

Parenting styles are usually talked about in terms of authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting, and permissive parenting. What effects does each one have on the children receiving the parenting? How different will a child be when exposed to different parenting styles? And which is the correct and best parenting style to use?

Studies (for example by Goodman and Gurian, 1999) have indicated that children who have experienced authoritarian parenting with strict parents often aren’t able to think for themselves or understand why certain behaviours are required. This would make sense as they are brought up to do things without questioning them. This is almost the direct opposite of permissive parenting methods. Children with authoritarian parents are often withdrawn or anxious and with low self esteem levels. Boys can also show anger and defiance as they get older. Authoritative parenting leads to these characteristics much less often.

Permissive parenting, often known as ‘indulgent’ parenting, has been shown to lead to immature, impulsive behaviour, with an inclination towards disobedience and rebellion. Boys of permissive parents are often likely to be low achievers, certainly less so than children exposed to an authoritative parenting style, and also less so than children of the authoritarian parenting method. Boys are often less self motivated than girls in terms of education, which adds weight to the link between indulgent parenting and low achievement.

Studies of authoritative parenting have shown that children exposed to this ‘democratic’ parenting style are the best adjusted. Whilst authoritarian parenting can often lead to differences in behaviour between boys and girls, children of authoritative parents show fewer differences in behaviour between the genders. They tend to achieve higher grades in school, be more helpful around the home, and have less social problems. Whilst the differences between strict parenting and authoritative parenting are evident, there are also differences between the children exposed to permissive parenting and the children in this group.

Whatever your parent style, everything you do will in some way affect your child. Whilst it is very unlikely that any parents will fall neatly into any of the categories, it is clear from studies and reports that the authoritative parenting style is the most successful. Authoritarian parenting is often considered to be harsh and bullying and permissive parenting doesn’t give children the frames and boundaries they need. If you love your children and think about how your actions shape their future then you are likely to be doing OK.